About Dave Meir
My Story
I’ve wanted to create stories for as long as I can remember. In high school, I penned a column for the school newspaper; Back in the Woods With Dave Meir. But then graduation and . . . you know . . . life.
I became a fantasy writer. Not writing fantasies but fantasizing about writing. Author Dorothy Parker is often quoted as having said, “I hate writing, I love having written.” I struggled to make it to the “having written” part.
Now, in my sixties, I’m tied to the tracks with retirement bearing down like a hundred-ton locomotive. A close relative was just diagnosed with cancer. Another recently passed away from heart failure. In my 30’s there was no end in sight. And while I can’t see the end just yet, I can imagine it with greater clarity.
So now’s the time. I’ve always been a reader of mystery novels; Robert Parker, Lawrence Block, John MacDonald, Lee Child – but my writing mind doesn’t work that way. At least not anymore. The chaos of the Orange Oompa Loompa, and COVID, and January 6th made me realize we don’t need yet another writer spouting murder, mayhem, and madness.
We need to laugh more. We need more joy in our lives. We need an escape – every now and then – from reality. From the get-go I know I’ll not be for everyone. But I’m hoping there’ll be at least one of you with the same off-kilter, whacked-out, less than politically-correct sense of humor. I write for you.
If you smile while you’re here I’ve done my job. If you chuckle now and then . . . well . . . that is, in my book, the mound of whipped cream on the Kentucky Bourbon Chocolate Pecan pie.
Thanks for stopping by. Have a completely awesome day.
THE ARTWORK
I bill myself as a writer/artist. You may not bill me as either and that’s just fine. But in case you’re wondering, I create the majority of the photos and artwork that accompany my stories. If perchance I use an image from Unsplash or some other stock photo outlet – I’ll try to make it obvious.
TRUTH or FICTION
It has come to my attention there are people in the world who get their undies in a knot if they read something fictional in what is purported to be a non-fiction piece of writing. I guess I can understand that. Then again, I’m not doling out financial advice here and you’re not likely to make life or death decisions based on what I write. But fair is fair.
Much of what I write is based on my life experiences. Much of what I write is the hot baloney, eggs, and gravy that gallops through my grey matter in the occasional brandy & seven-induced dream. To help you better understand the truth or fiction of my writing I came up with a kind of rating system. Each of my stories is tagged with one of the following;
Fiction:
- Rest assured, what you’re reading in this story is complete crap. Do not believe a word of it.
Non-Fiction:
- This story is based on a life experience of mine or someone close to me. The language and descriptions may be enhanced to better explain the story but you can be assured this is true. That said, I still wouldn’t make a life or death decision based on its contents.
Kinda Non-Fiction:
- This story is based on something that happened in my life but, since my life is essentially that of a male middle-aged boring boomer, the story needed some added life so you could actually get through it.
If you only want to read stories that are true – simply search for the tag; non-fiction. And of course vice-versa.
And one more thing, I recently read a story, written – I believe – by a Millennial, on how to understand Boomer Humor. If you’re younger than say, 30 or 40, and you don’t like your Dad or your Grandpa’s humor – you’re probably not going to like mine. That’s okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Recent Blog Posts
Michigan
August 4th, 2022, marked the beginning of the end for the small-minded holier-than-thou 62 percent living in Jamestown Township/Hudsonville,...
Here’s Looking at You Kid
Prologue Throughout the 1980s and 90s I worked as a residential real estate appraiser in southeastern Minnesota. If you’re unfamiliar, real estate...
Recent Vote Guarantees Hudsonville Michigan’s Continued Ignorance
August 4th, 2022, marked the beginning of the end for the small-minded holier-than-thou 62 percent living in Jamestown Township/Hudsonville,...
How to Eat Lunch
Just finished packing my lunch. Besides vegetables and dip and a bag of Bing cherries, I packed a hardboiled egg and a bag of shredded chicken. Now...
Pee When You Can
I'm a big fan of the Jack Reacher books by Lee Child. And I'm guessing if you are as well then you're also a fan of the new Netflix Reacher movie...
07.09.22 – Billboards
The drive from Rochester to Brainerd is peppered with billboards. And as with all billboards, you'd probably agree, some stand out more than others....
07.10.22 – Home Again
Vacation is almost over. Back to the grind tomorrow. We've only been gone a week, but it's interesting how you can miss the day-to-day comforts of...
The Easter Rolex
It occurs to me, as I struggle to write the opening of this story, how ignorant I can be. I’ve come to this realization - that may have been...
Brotherly Love
My older brother Michael hasn’t beat the living crap out of me for more than 50 years now. Lucky for him. In this day and age, they’d lock him up...
The Easter Fart
ME: “Gather ‘round kids; Grandpa has a story to tell you.” OLDEST GRANDDAUGHTER: (excited) “Come on, Juniper, get over here; Grandpa’s going to tell...
Oh Hell No
It’s winter here in Minnesota, and it’s been a weird one so far. By this time last year, we were up to our asses in snow. This year - well, the day...
Rise of the Granny Grabber
This disturbing headline recently appeared on the CBS Minnesota WCCO Website: “70-Year-Old Woman Was Drinking Tequila, Holding Fake Gun While...
Raised By Smokers
No doubt you’ve heard the saying, “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.” And while I personally have no regrets about my...
Icing on the Cake
I am not a shopper. I am what you might refer to as a “get-in-get-it-get-out” kind of consumer. The act of wandering a store looking at popcorn...
Rabbit Pee
Five seconds ago, the baby was being all cute and smiley and giggly. Now he was bleeding and red-faced-screaming at the top of his six-month-old...